


i love you, tomorrow

by muffincollection



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, Hurt No Comfort, Illnesses, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:08:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29854413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muffincollection/pseuds/muffincollection
Summary: The apocalypse ruins the world in days, but that’s not the only thing worrying Johnny. Taeyong had fallen ill within the months the apocalypse began, and now there’s no saving him from the inevitable.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	i love you, tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> This is all just really sad.
> 
> Please be aware this doesn’t represent them in real life. The events that take place are purely fictional.
> 
> Please stay safe, happy, and healthy during these times. <3

The apocalypse had been sudden, many people were enjoying their summer break with friends and family when the fatal alarm had killed their ear drums. Johnny had just gone shopping, he entered the apartment building with his boyfriend arms full of a few too many groceries for a house party they were going to host when the alarm had gone off. Johnny thought nothing of it, simply just closing and locking the door to the best of his abilities with his arms full. When he sat the groceries on the counter he powered their radio on, listening to the news as they usually did.

He could feel Taeyong’s cold fingers against his forearm the moment they announced a brain disease had spiraled out of control. It was rapidly infecting people who came in direct contact and causing them to be walking corpses, digging for human life to turn them. 

Taeyong was always a step behind reality, but the moment the news strung out he dropped his quiet personality and rushed to the door, shoving the couch in front of it and closed all the blinds. His body was shaking, Johnny could tell. The way he quickly blocked all entrances to their apartment, his nimble fingers danced for a bit at the window, watching people rush around in panic, fear rising in them as they all desperately tried to get away. 

It was apparent to them the disease struck suddenly, people collapsing and being taken over by something fatal, but being revived into something terrifying. 

They reported the zombies were almost not distinguishable from humans, the only difference being their largely veiny appearance and bloodshot colorless eyes. Johnny was the one to constantly keep an eye on the news, informing Taeyong of all the things going on in their city.

There was no hope for anyone, hope was a lost cause at that point. And Taeyong had always been a germaphobe so there was never a day they didn’t go cleaning or didn’t wear masks in public, or gloves because Taeyong refused to touch anything someone else did. So they were safe, as far as they knew. 

Everything was supposed to be okay.

Until it wasn’t.

It was months later, Johnny was coming back from a hunt for food, even if they still had plenty left, it was always good to keep stock. When he entered through the window of their apartment the aura of the home felt cold. There was no singing or sounds of Taeyong cleaning about, it was silent. Johnny had feared the worst, that being Taeyong either been kidnapped by a group of rebels, or Taeyong had gotten himself injured or— had turned. Johnny weighed the outcomes, Taeyong never left the house. He was always indoors working on different things.

When he closed and locked the window, he dropped the bag he was carrying to the ground and carefully walked into the living room.

“Taeyong?” Johnny called out, and to his dismay there was no response given. 

Panicking, he rushed into their bedroom, hoping to find the younger asleep or working quietly on his music. But no, he wasn’t there. So Johnny turned and swung the bathroom door open, and to his relief but also horror, Taeyong was collapsed on the floor, his nose bleeding and his breathing was short and heavy.

Johnny dropped down by his body and checked anywhere for injuries, pulling an eyelid to ensure he was human, then took a small inhale.

“Yongie, wake up, what happened?” Johnny brushed his hair back and wiped the blood from his lover's lips.

Taeyong stirred slightly, then his eyes opened, his hand reaching up weakly, “I don’t feel well, Johnny.”

“It’s okay baby, just tell me what happened,” Johnny whispered, “You’re gonna be okay, alright?”

“I was cleaning the bathroom, and my chest felt so tight, when I coughed blood had come onto my arm,” Taeyong said weakly, “I checked the mirror and my nose was bleeding, and then I must’ve passed out.”

Johnny was worried, he couldn’t think of anything that could be the cause of it. Sure, the past few months Taeyong had an awful cough, but he never complained about it, brushed it off as a cold. But this couldn’t have been a cold, which worried Johnny a lot. 

Considering their circumstance, there was no hospital or doctor they could go to, so Johnny felt nervous that it wasn’t just a cold.

“Johnny,” Taeyong pushed himself up slightly, “I don’t think… I don’t think it’s a cold, Johnny.”

“I know, I believe you,” Johnny positioned himself differently to pull the small man into his lap, holding him against his chest, “You’ll be alright, baby.”

“No, Johnny,” Taeyong mumbled, his words muffled against his neck. He pulled back to look up at him, “Remember when my mom was really sick?”

“I do,” Johnny nods, “I miss her every day, Taeyongie.”

“She had tuberculosis,” Taeyong said, “And around the same time she was close to passing, I had been with her. This was right before the apocalypse.”

Johnny felt coldness rush up his spine, and he stared down into Taeyong’s eyes, “Oh… Oh Taeyong…”

“I have tuberculosis, Johnny,” Taeyong said, “My symptoms are what my mother had.”

——

It had been a few months after Taeyong had started to be bed ridden, and every day he would be afraid to leave his boyfriend behind. In the worst case scenario, he would come home to find that life had left Taeyong.

There was nothing worse than knowing Johnny could do nothing to save the man he loved, the longer he tried to ignore that Taeyong was dying, the more anxious he became. It was a constant on his mind.

He knew the medication he needed to get Taeyong, he scavenged the isles of an abandoned drug store, in the back where the pharmacy was. There were too many empty rows of medicine missing. He knew they weren’t missing only for sickness, however. Which made Johnny cold.

He scans one last row before coming across a row of medicine that had been untouched. 

When his eyes land on it, his world finally seeks slightly brighter.  _ Ethambutol.  _ Finally, he had some sort of relief wash over him.

Johnny grabbed all of the bottles of it he could, dropping it into his bag and slinging it back over his shoulder. He grabs his machete that he left on the counter and grips it tightly as he walks out, his eyes scanning the store, searching for any sign of the walking corpses. 

A sound comes from the front of the store and Johnny ducks behind the empty isle, peeking around the corner. But what he sees isn’t a zombie, it’s a guy with a backpack dragging behind him. His hand holding a gun, looking outside the store. 

Johnny cautiously walks around the corner to the front, and clears his throat, “Hey!”

The man jumped and threw up his gun towards Johnny, not pulling it but staring into his eyes. When he realizes Johnny isn’t making any moves to hurt him, he lowers his weapon and sighs, “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry, I noticed you’re… well, human,” Johnny replied awkwardly, “I haven’t seen another soul in weeks… maybe months now.”

“You live in this ghost town?” he asks, “I didn’t think anyone was left.”

“Well, it’s me and my boyfriend,” Johnny responds, “We’ve been hiding out in our apartment for almost a year now.” 

“You’re telling me you haven’t been starving up there?”

“Well, we conserve our food, a lot of it isn’t perishable, so he converse it and make it last, but that’s not the point, I’m wondering why you’re in this town,” Johnny said, “Like you said, it’s abandoned, everything is gone.”

“I was on a hunt for food and shit,” he shrugs, “I live with a camp twenty miles outside of town. We've been building it up since the beginning of the apocalypse.”

“You’re telling me there’s more survivors?” Johnny says, “Living not that far out?” 

“Yeah, say, if you want you can bring you and your little boyfriend to the camp, we’re always welcoming more people,” he says, “By the way, I’m Yuno, Jeong Yuno. But call me Jaehyun.”

“The name is Johnny Suh, my boyfriend’s name is Taeyong,” Johnny replied, “When do you think we can come?”

“We get our next import for beds and tents within the week, I can meet with you again later in the week, but I need to go now, if I want to make it back to camp before nightfall,” Jaehyun picks his bag up and looks around, “We will meet here on Wednesday, we can discuss and then I’ll get you guys the path to my camp.”

Johnny smiles thankfully, “Thank you, Jaehyun. You have no idea how much this helps. But I must let you know my boyfriend does have tuberculosis, do you have medical camps that can help him?”

“Yeah, we have some doctors in hand, I’m sorry to hear that your boyfriend is so sick,” Jaehyun said, his words apologetic, “I’ll see you Wednesday, eleven am.”

“Got it, thank you again,” Johnny bows, and then sits right up, watching as Jaehyun walks outside.

He’s gone before Johnny can think and all he can think of is how much this could save them, after being locked away for so long, they were going to see people. Who could be living freely behind the camp walls and he’d feel safe for once.

As he made his own way home, he heard a distinct sound coming from behind him. Johnny quickly readied his machete and looked behind him, only to see a zombie dragging its way towards him. He  _ could _ easily outrun it, but he doesn’t know how fast these things can move. So he stays still until it’s close enough to him.

The saddest part is the fact it looks to be a young boy, maybe around his age, dragging its body sadly towards him. Johnny is paying too much attention to the zombie in front of him that he doesn’t have almost anytime to react to the other one who suddenly jumps onto him, causing Johnny to crash into the pavement.

His heart rate picks up, realizing that one scratch or bite mark would turn him and he’d never make it home to Taeyong to let him know they were going to be saved. 

He swings his machete and presses it against the zombies neck, pushing hard enough until its body collapses onto him—  _ dead? _ Johnny shoves the zombie off of him and backs up, and when the second one gets close enough he whips his arm around and cuts the zombies head clean off. He backs up a little bit, looking around more for any sign of the dead, then books it to their small apartment once more. 

Thankfully they lived in a small town, that way he didn’t have to travel across the city to get to his home. When he gets to the fire exit he sprints up the stairs and pulls their apartment window open, dropping in and collapsing on the ground. He was lucky to know that if he  _ had  _ been infected, he would’ve turned already by the time he got back to his home. 

Johnny stands up and looks in the mirror across from him on the wall, sighing when he sees his clothes are covered in blood. Taking his backpack off, he gets Taeyong a water bottle and makes his way into the room where his boyfriend rests.

“Babe?” Johnny calls, looking in to see Taeyong reading a book. The man’s eyes widen and he is about to say something, but Johnny quickly cuts in, “Don’t worry, I’m okay, baby.” 

He comes closer to Taeyong and shows him the bottle of Ethambutol, and his boyfriend’s eyes widen, “How were you able to find it?”

“Apparently the drug store had them in the pharmacy,” Johnny smiled softly, “Here.”

He dumps a pill into the palm of his hand, then gives him the water bottle, “I’m gonna go clean up, okay?”

Taeyong nodded, then watched Johnny get a new outfit out and he disappeared into the bathroom.

They were lucky, living in a small town where everyone is presumed dead besides them meant their water had yet to go out, so there was nothing that was preventing them from using it. Of course they still used it cautiously, and didn’t shower as much as they used to, but it was still better than nothing. He would give Taeyong baths two times a week, and he would shower four times biweekly, just to keep himself decently cleaned. And it was running just fine.

Johnny takes a quick shower, scrubbing his body and cleaning himself up, then steps out five minutes later and gets himself dressed.

When he gets out of the shower, Taeyong is resting his eyes. Every part of him feels scared that Taeyong doesn’t have much time left, after so long without treatment he was just fearful of one day waking up and Taeyong would be gone. 

But he had to be happy, he couldn’t let Taeyong know he was scared.

Johnny comes down and sits next to him, running a finger through his hair, “Taeyong, I have good news.”

“Mm?”

“I met someone, he said there’s a camp twenty miles out, he invited us to live there and they have doctors to help you,” Johnny said, “I’m meeting him again this week.”

It was good news in the sense. But if Taeyong wasn’t sick, there was no way that he would ever go somewhere with people he didn’t know. At the earlier stages of his tuberculosis he had ranted about rebel groups and that it was dangerous to befriend anyone he didn’t know. Taeyong knew Johnny was a people person, he always had been and was always too trusting. But Johnny assumed Taeyong looking at him blankly wasn’t thinking of any of that.

“Johnny,” Taeyong says, “I don’t think…”

“What?”

“I think you will be happy there,” he says, “I’m not sure how long I have but I know it’s—“

“No, Taeyong, you’re not going to die, we’re going to get you help and you’ll be okay, the doctors are going to help you,” Johnny said, “You’ll be okay, baby!”

Taeyong’s eyes were soft, “You know that I love you.”

“You’ll be okay.”

And that was the last of that conversation. Johnny wouldn’t let Taeyong believe he wasn’t going to make it, because it was the two of them or none at all.

——

_ Johnny tiredly watched as his boyfriend and baby cousin played in the living room, he had worked almost every day that week and his body was too exhausted to play along. But he watched as Taeyong picked up the toys and showed them to his cousin, telling him what they were called and teaching him different colors. _

_ His mother’s sister had left her son under their care while taking care of her own sister, who was sick with tuberculosis. Due to Taeyong’s family not being well off, there wasn’t much they could do to treat her correctly. They already had hospital bills to pay and Taeyong was putting in extra hours to get them covered. _

_ Their life was peaceful for the most part. Then it started to get worse when his mother’s sister could no longer take care of her sister, and had to return to work to help pay bills. So Taeyong took over taking care of his mother. He would be gone for days, only coming back to be with Johnny for a few hours or do chores around the house. _

_ Johnny should’ve known when he heard Taeyong cough the first time, that it wasn’t just a cold. That after his mother passed away and he had a coughing fit from crying so hard that it wasn’t just a cold. _

_ After two years of his own mother fighting off tuberculosis, Johnny should’ve seen the signs. He should’ve been a better boyfriend to help. And now it’s almost too late. It’s been a year and a few months since the outbreak, and Taeyong has only gotten weaker. _

_ —— _

Taeyong’s body was cold against his, since getting sick he lost a significant amount of weight. His body was fragile and he could barely stand from how weak he had gotten, there were days he’d spend coughing too much blood, where Johnny had to stay by him to make sure he was breathing. 

Today was Wednesday, which meant he was going to meet Jaehyun and get them both to the camp.

He wished his boyfriend goodbye, kissing him gently then escaping out the window and heading towards the drug store. 

Johnny doesn’t have any run-ins with zombies thankfully, patiently waiting outside the drug store to meet Jaehyun. 

When he noticed the familiar brunette, he waved at him with a gentle smile.

“Hello stranger,” Jaehyun said, “The imports came in quicker than we expected, I’m meeting with you to say that we can leave today if you’re ready. I’ll help you pack up and you can get your boyfriend in this wagon I have. I don’t think he’d be able to walk.”

“No, probably not,” Johnny replies, “I’ll take you up to my apartment and you can help me get the supplies I have, if you’re helping the least I can do is share my supplies.”

“That would be lovely, thanks Johnny,” Jaehyun hummed, “Let’s get going shall we?”

Their trip back is almost uneventful, besides Jaehyun sniping a few zombies that were in the area. When they make it to the apartment complex, Jaehyun looks slightly taken aback.

“You live here?” Jaehyun asked, and Johnny nodded, “It’s in pretty good condition considering the rest of the town.”

“Yeah, we got lucky,” Johnny responded, because luck was all they could have in a situation like this. 

Packing up was easier than getting Taeyong out of bed, he was tired and Johnny was very persistent, “Come on baby, we need to go now okay?” 

“Johnny, I love you,” Taeyong whispered when Johnny had helped him onto his back, “I’ll love you forever.”

“And I you, Taeyong,” Johnny replied softly, carrying him out of the bedroom and out the window of their apartment. 

Jaehyun met them halfway, looking at the sick man on Johnny’s back with apologetic eyes.

“We can make it to the camp by seven,” Jaehyun looked at his watch, “Six hours of travel. Let’s get going.”

Johnny sets Taeyong down in the wagon, his body shifting uncomfortably for a few moments before finally settling.

“If you need anything let me know, Yongie,” Johnny kissed his forehead and started to drag the wagon along. Jaehyun talked to him about many different things, about the camp to his life before the apocalypse.

He was twenty and living with his boyfriend when it first started, and immediately they had packed everything they could and met up with friends that were in their city. Apparently one of their friends lived in a small countryside town and offered the pair to live with them. Further down the road they had begun building up walls and building smaller homes for more people to come into, and it had turned from a small town to a base for people who had nowhere to go.

Johnny feels insanely lucky that he found Jaehyun, because without him they might’ve not lasted any longer than another year. That’s taking off the fact that Taeyong was sick as well, this was if he got better. And if Taeyong were to pass away, then he might’ve just gone out with him. There wasn’t a life he could imagine without his beloved boyfriend. Losing him would be the last straw.

The further they travel the more vacant it becomes, no signs of life anywhere, and by the time they get outside the city it’s completely quiet. There were a few zombies that happened to be in the distant fields, and Jaehyun told them to pause, before aiming his gun and shooting at them, effectively killing all three.

“These guys aren’t normally around, so don’t worry too much about them being around the camp,” Jaehyun says, “You know, I didn’t really expect you two to even be alive in the city.”

“I didn’t think anyone was alive for miles and miles, not within twenty miles at all,” Johnny sighs, “I mean, it’s an apocalypse and it’s spread really easy by scratches and such, so it wasn’t a surprise it took over so much of the world.”

Jaehyun kicks a stray rock, “Yeah, watching the people you love die is hard.”

The question lies in the air, but it’s not asked. Johnny has been in denial for a long time accepting that Taeyong was going to die. It was something that Johnny didn’t want to happen, even if it was inevitable. Tuberculosis wss deadly without proper treatment, and the damage to his body had already been done after a year. Johnny remembers the coldest nights where he thought it was the end, where he held Taeyong closer than ever, crying together, whispering their love to one another.

“It is,” Johnny said, he sighs, “There’s no way out of the pain.”

They stop to eat, and Johnny can’t even get Taeyong to get anything in his system. He said he was too tired and just wanted to rest. Johnny admittedly was slightly concerned, but just kissed his forehead and said it was okay. Jaehyun was silent during the ordeal, only offering a sympathetic smile towards him.

After nightfall, they only have the moonlight and their flashlights to give them light. He hears something shuffle behind him and his wrist is grabbed, halting him. Johnny turns around and looks down at his boyfriend, “Yes, Yongie?”

Taeyong smiles softly, “I love you, Johnny. I love you t-today, I love you tomorrow, I love you always.”

“I love you too Taeyong, we’re almost there. Thirty minutes baby, are you cold?” 

“Yeah, a little bit…” Taeyong rested back into the wagon and sighed, “I don’t feel much… anymore.”

Johnny shrugs his jacket off and drapes it over his boyfriend's body, “We’ll be there in no time.”

A cold breeze blows through their hair and finally after so many hours they finally make it to tall walls where Johnny let’s put a sigh of relief. Taeyong was going to get the treatment he needed, even if it only gave him a few months. 

“Taeyong!” Johnny said, “We’re here, you’re going to get help!”

Silence follows after and he and Jaehyun turn around to Taeyong, who is resting seemingly. So Johnny gets on his knees and shakes him a bit, “Yongie, we’re here. Wake up, baby.” 

No movement comes from him, and Johnny freezes, “No, no, no. Taeyong!” 

Johnny shakes him a bit more and brushes a hand over his face, tears already streaming down his cheeks as Taeyong lies lifelessly. He brings his fingers down to his pulse and chokes slightly, pulling Taeyong out of the wagon and lays him on the ground. He tries to do chest compressions, roughly pressing onto his chest to get anything, but there’s nothing. 

His boyfriend lays lifelessly. The coldness of the night seeps into his bones and Johnny winces at the wind, “We were so close, so close…”

He pulls Taeyong against him and sobs into his hair, “Why, why.”

Jaehyun gets down next to him, “I’m so sorry, Johnny. I can’t imagine how much this must hurt you.”

“We were right here, we were going to get him help, we were going to be okay, he was fine this morning and now it’s—“

“Johnny, you aren’t at fault, this was going to happen soon or later,” Jaehyun said to him, “We can give him a proper burial inside the base. Let’s get warmed up. It’s cold outside.”

It’s much colder though, to Johnny. His warmth had died, and he didn’t even get to say goodbye.

_ I loved you, yesterday. _

_ I loved you, today. _

_ I love you, tomorrow. _

**Author's Note:**

> IM SORRY
> 
> SORRRYYYYY
> 
> I hope you enjoyed tho! And let me know if you’d like a second part. I’d love to know.
> 
> Kudos and comments always appreciated.
> 
> This was a really rushed idea I had, heheh.


End file.
